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zelempaIn other news, I was reading The Education of Hyman Kaplan--amusing short stories about English as a foreign language night school in 1930s New York--and I came across an assignment that I think we should all take on.
From The Return of Hyman Kaplan, Leo Rosten (Leonard Q. Ross), 1959:
Any fandom, any pairing. Go.
Something always seemed to distract Rodney from his mission reports: killing Wraith; preventing citywide power crises; or, in this case, running his fingers down John Sheppard's chiseled torso. John advanced with attacking kisses, and Rodney bent backward over the lab table, sending at least one very expensive console and a probably-millenia-old Ancient lamp crashing to the ground. Releasing a low, guttural groan, John thrust forward, pressing his erection into Rodney's. Rodney slid off his elbow and dropped onto his back with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. Paperwork night was about to reach an unprecedented climax.
From The Return of Hyman Kaplan, Leo Rosten (Leonard Q. Ross), 1959:
"I shall write five words on the blackboard," Mr. Parkhill said, picking up a piece of chalk. "Use each word in a sentence, a--er--full sentence, that is. Five words, therefore five sentences." He smiled. There was no harm in leavening the bread of learning with the yeast of levity. [...]
In large block letters, he printed:
1. CHISEL
2. LAMP
3. GROAN
4. POTATOES
5. CLIMAX
Any fandom, any pairing. Go.
Something always seemed to distract Rodney from his mission reports: killing Wraith; preventing citywide power crises; or, in this case, running his fingers down John Sheppard's chiseled torso. John advanced with attacking kisses, and Rodney bent backward over the lab table, sending at least one very expensive console and a probably-millenia-old Ancient lamp crashing to the ground. Releasing a low, guttural groan, John thrust forward, pressing his erection into Rodney's. Rodney slid off his elbow and dropped onto his back with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. Paperwork night was about to reach an unprecedented climax.
no subject
on 2008-04-20 02:43 am (UTC)"You don’t really expect to open it with that?" Derek snorted as Sarah stuck the chisel into the lock.
"Just shut up and hold the lamp steady," she snapped.
The door groaned open after only a few twists of Sarah’s clever hands.
"We don’t have time to waste on small potatoes like this," Derek protested.
"The climax of the Skynet program depends on this little machine," she answered as she raised her gun and fired, obliterating the small, innocent looking computer.
Sorry for this one.
Star Trek TOS-still going after all these years:
“It is wrong of you to chisel away at our agreement,” Spock said disapprovingly.
"Just turn down the lamp," Kirk begged, "before my head explodes."
Spock dialed the light down before falling onto the bed beside the Admiral with a groan.
"We agreed that you are too advanced in age to tolerate such an intense climax on a work day," Spock continued lecturing, though Kirk could see Spock was just as wrecked as he was.
no subject
on 2008-04-20 02:05 pm (UTC)Ha ha, "small potatoes." Nice.