Sentinel: The Lost Recap

[zelempa]

Astute readers of my Sentinel recaps might have noticed that, even if you count as recaps the old s1 reviews which I plan to redo, my coverage is incomplete. There's one episode missing.

Summer 2007. I was blasting through seasons 2 and 3 at the rate of about one recap a day and I was getting a little bored and silly, and so I decided to do one recap as an epic poem in the style of Venus and Adonis (?? why?? it seemed like a good idea at the time). I got maybe ten minutes into the episode when I lost my drive to spend so much time on an episode which, quite frankly, sucked. Since the episode didn't contain any important Jim/Blair milestones, I never found it necessary to go back and do a traditional recap of it, either.

Cleaning out my gmail drafts I found the recap in progress. Here's as far as I got, in case you're interested.

Even as this guard with purple-colored suit
Shines his torch as if in search of clues,
Rose-hued jars of liquid stand off his route,
An unseen hand alights the waxy fuse.
Quick-burning fire makes the jars explode.
This building's so not up to fire code.

Jim and Blair drive round in search of food.
Blair knows a place that's great, but knows not where.
Jim rolls his eyes and starts to cop a 'tude,
Then gets a whiff of smoke upon the air.
It's hero time! Jim makes an evil turn.
They reach the warehouse quick and feel the burn!

Outside the blaze Jim hears a beating heart
Worse luck, it isn't Blair, it's just the guard.
Jim walks inside, which doesn't seem that smart
But for Jim, to walk through flame is not that hard.
The jars explode against Jim's back a lot.
I guess this kind of fire isn't hot.

Jim fireman's-lifts the guard away from harm;
Blair runs to help him heft the victim's weight.
Next day, the fire chief is oozing charm
And Deb the arson cop is oozing hate.
Jim says, "She's cute, in a pit bull sort of way."
You see, I told you, guys, he isn't gay.

The station. Blair asks sweetly if Jim's hurt.
The flame doth burn his lungs; he must remove.
Inspector Deb shows up to dish the dirt:
The arson is for sure, the fraud they've got to prove.
The blaze was super hot, five thou degrees.
Which Jim just sauntered through with greatest ease!

To Gershwin's Furniture, them Simon sends,
To find the guy who owns the fire site.
There Blair and Jim do chat him up like friends,
Till Deb jumps in, accusing him outright.
Well, Gershwin takes offense, and throws them out,
And Jim and Blair are all, Nice going, lout.

(A quick aside: this guy remembered Jim;
He met him and his wife two years ago.
Jim tells him Caro's fine since divorcing him,
And moving off to lovely San Francisco.
So recently he enjoyed the married state?!
Sure didn't take him long to stop being--someone who doesn't have a roommate.)

Outside the shop they bump into Deb's dad.
A former fireman, and not a grouch--
Unlike his kid, his manners are not bad.
Deb sends him off to buy his stupid couch.
Jim says, "Happy shopping." Dude, no lie.
Okay, okay, but he still might just be bi.

...And that's all she wrote. I also have some notes on lines from "Venus and Adonis" I wanted to mimic:

The heat I have from thence doth little harm,
Thine eye darts forth the fire that burneth me;
(Stuff about fire. Fine.)

Though neither eyes nor ears, to hear nor see,
Yet should I be in love by touching thee.
(Stuff about senses. Fine.)

Love is a spirit all compact of fire,
Not gross to sink, but light, and will aspire.
(More about fire)

Or, like a nymph, with long dishevell'd hair,
(Stuff about Blair, OMG)

Her two blue windows faintly she up-heaveth,
(Blair TOTALLY has blue windows and he is ALWAYS upheavething them TO JIM)

For on the grass she lies as she were slain,
Till his breath breatheth life in her again.
(I think this is the point at which I realized I was doing the wroooooong episode.)

So I'm not sure how to proceed; but so far just leaving that episode mysteriously unrecapped is working for me.

Comments

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

It has WAY TOO MUCH Deb but you get Jim saying 'sex wax' a lot and that appeals strangely to me, I don't know why.

You just know this one was RB begging, come on; do a surfing episode; you know it's my thing; puhleeezzeee?

Your poem was clever and made me smile (I'd still like a recap though because I love your brand of snark :-))

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess I may. The poetry isn't for everybody.

Although I am pleased with the way I got a direct quote in there--not easy as they generally don't speak in iambic pentameter.

Also, thank you, writers, for making Jim and Blair's names both one syllable. But if I ever do return to the poems I can never use their full names. JIM ELLison, BLAIR SANDburg... it just doesn't work.

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

I tried to think up a comment based on 'You are my sunshine,' but alas, my brain and the poetry, they do not make beautiful music together. I laughed at your comments, as I always do. I love your mixture of snark and adoration for the show. 'Cause, yeah, some of it is lame, but Jim and Blair are so cool together. You need a shovel to move the sub-text out of the way.
Laurie

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

My memory of this particular episode is that it is heavy on the lame, light on the subtext, which probably explains why I never wanted to go back and finish it.