Homework: American Way Page, Mark II
Jul. 12th, 2010 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelempaRedo of my previous piece, a scene from American Way by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
resonant8. (The lack of outer panel borders isn't a stylistic choice, I just worked slightly bigger and it didn't fit in my scanner.)
Same style, different composition. In critique, my teacher pointed out that you really don't need to be zoomed out on what is essentially talking heads in panel 1, but in panels 2 and 3, the gesture is what is important, so zooming out and showing the whole body there made more sense. She also wanted to see more of Fraser's transformation, which was nice in that it allowed me to be a little closer to canon (by which I mean fanfic) in his movements.
A classmate pointed out that panel 1 was a golden opportunity to show Ray in the position Fraser ends up in the big panel, to play up how Fraser's mimicking Ray's body language. I think this was a good call. I didn't make it an exact mirror, but there are some similar elements.
I love when I get people who don't know DS at all talking about the characters. :D
I basically just redid panels 4-6, trying to improve them, but I think I ended up making them slightly worse. In general I feel like I've lost some charm. I should never revise. (Bad attitude!)
resonant8. (The lack of outer panel borders isn't a stylistic choice, I just worked slightly bigger and it didn't fit in my scanner.)
Same style, different composition. In critique, my teacher pointed out that you really don't need to be zoomed out on what is essentially talking heads in panel 1, but in panels 2 and 3, the gesture is what is important, so zooming out and showing the whole body there made more sense. She also wanted to see more of Fraser's transformation, which was nice in that it allowed me to be a little closer to canon (by which I mean fanfic) in his movements.
A classmate pointed out that panel 1 was a golden opportunity to show Ray in the position Fraser ends up in the big panel, to play up how Fraser's mimicking Ray's body language. I think this was a good call. I didn't make it an exact mirror, but there are some similar elements.
I love when I get people who don't know DS at all talking about the characters. :D
I basically just redid panels 4-6, trying to improve them, but I think I ended up making them slightly worse. In general I feel like I've lost some charm. I should never revise. (Bad attitude!)