I recently told my fiance that I read gay fan fiction (and, what's even worse, RPS) and his reaction went sort of like this: "sputter, sputter, but why?" I didn't have a good reason for him...other than, you know, blushing and giggling into a pillow (mature, y/n?) Needless to say, it's been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you don't mind if I respond / comment on some of these points.
The first: Het romance has an uncomfortable implied power imbalance (and/or gender roles). Two people of the same sex are equals. Well, it sounds good in theory, but I honestly think most writers can't help but re-establish a power imbalance. Typically, one of the males in slash becomes effeminate, occasionally through no reason other than the fact that he always bottom, and this, alone is enough to cast him in the weaker, woman role, if you will. However, many writers (though maybe not intentionally?) tend to continue subverting their male bottoms by attributing un-manly characteristics to them, both in and out of bed. Take for instance Remus, poor pathetic lonely desperate werewolf (who nearly always bottoms, unless it's his "time of the month") or poor needy emo Sam (unless he's possessed by a demon, of course). This characters, despite their genitalia, are still casted in the position of the women in many fics.
The second (and I hope this doesn't become too personal for you): Women who have less than stellar associations with RL sex might prefer to get their rocks off by reading about sex in which they do not imagine themselves in the place of the participants. You mention that most of the women on your flist are happily married and therefore, this theory does not quite hold. However, happily married is not the same thing as sexually satisfied. I am very happily engaged and plan to join the ranks of happily married in 6 months time...I've been in a sexually active, monogamous relationship for 5 years now...and I've never had an orgasm. And there are a lot of other women like me, who for physical, mental or emotional reasons have a very difficult time ever climaxing. When I read het porn, it just don't feel real to me. It's nothing I've ever experienced and I just can't get into it without remembering that little fact. So it's not a point to be discounted too soon, I guess.
Another one I wanted to mention...I think our society more readily accepts the mechanics of male sex than female. It's ok for guys to talk about orgasms, to talk about their penises (penii?), but not yet ok for women to talk openly about their vaginas and g-spots.
But really, after this impossibly long comment, I'd also like to mention that I'm horrendously superficial and I'm just in it for "but they're so pretty together" reasons. :)
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The first: Het romance has an uncomfortable implied power imbalance (and/or gender roles). Two people of the same sex are equals. Well, it sounds good in theory, but I honestly think most writers can't help but re-establish a power imbalance. Typically, one of the males in slash becomes effeminate, occasionally through no reason other than the fact that he always bottom, and this, alone is enough to cast him in the weaker, woman role, if you will. However, many writers (though maybe not intentionally?) tend to continue subverting their male bottoms by attributing un-manly characteristics to them, both in and out of bed. Take for instance Remus, poor pathetic lonely desperate werewolf (who nearly always bottoms, unless it's his "time of the month") or poor needy emo Sam (unless he's possessed by a demon, of course). This characters, despite their genitalia, are still casted in the position of the women in many fics.
The second (and I hope this doesn't become too personal for you): Women who have less than stellar associations with RL sex might prefer to get their rocks off by reading about sex in which they do not imagine themselves in the place of the participants. You mention that most of the women on your flist are happily married and therefore, this theory does not quite hold. However, happily married is not the same thing as sexually satisfied. I am very happily engaged and plan to join the ranks of happily married in 6 months time...I've been in a sexually active, monogamous relationship for 5 years now...and I've never had an orgasm. And there are a lot of other women like me, who for physical, mental or emotional reasons have a very difficult time ever climaxing. When I read het porn, it just don't feel real to me. It's nothing I've ever experienced and I just can't get into it without remembering that little fact. So it's not a point to be discounted too soon, I guess.
Another one I wanted to mention...I think our society more readily accepts the mechanics of male sex than female. It's ok for guys to talk about orgasms, to talk about their penises (penii?), but not yet ok for women to talk openly about their vaginas and g-spots.
But really, after this impossibly long comment, I'd also like to mention that I'm horrendously superficial and I'm just in it for "but they're so pretty together" reasons. :)